|There was a cucumber, a pickle and a penis sitting around talking about how their lives sucked.
The cucumber moans "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad."
The pickle looks at him and replies, "You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me and stick me in a jar."
The penis looks at him and comes back, "You think you have it rough? When I get big, fat and juicy, they stick a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up all over myself and pass out!"